Today I finally realised that it was time to write about being sick and trusting in God. It’s been on my mind for a while but hadn’t found the right moment to put it into words. Until this morning, after being admitted into hospital yesterday and spending a very long painful night alone. Well obviously I wasn’t alone alone as our Amigo was certainly watching over me but you know what I mean.
I’ve been a bit poorly on and off since October 2017. I’ve had periods of being fine, awful, okish and more recently I’ve been a lot better. In between that time I was also knocked off my moped by a car (luckily the bike and I were fine!).
During these testing times I could go in two directions:
1. Why God? Why me? Why now?
2. Thank you God so much for helping me!
I’ve found myself going in both directions. At first I found it really difficult and it was a lot easier to be angry with God than to praise and thank him. I was in pain, unhappy and felt very alone. And I really did ask him.. Why me? Why now? Please give me a break! I really struggled to believe that he had my back.
Then I started to take a different approach (this was around the time I was knocked off my bike). I could have easily been run over by a car in that accident. It was on a road that always has oncoming traffic and I was thrown off my bike and landed head first on the other side of that road. I came out with lots of bruises and a sore body for a couple of days. This was a miracle, my guardian angel must have caught me. I instantly felt closer to God since this accident and thanked him a lot for it.
Moving onto yesterday, I was admitted into hospital in the morning. I have a suspected gallbladder infection. It is the most pain I have ever felt in my life, to the point that I’d rather give birth again! So last night whilst I was trying to get comfy on these horrid hospital beds I started thinking about how much I had experienced Jesus during the course of the day. Here’s the run down:
He was there at 7:30am in the form of my parents coming to look after my children whilst my husband and I headed to the hospital.
He was there all day in the form of my loving, caring husband who was constantly fussing over me all day to make sure I was OK.
He was there in the form of my best friend who came to visit me the day before with a Mocha and a cuddle, again the next morning to see how I was and again in the afternoon to bring me soup.
He was there in the form of the caring nurses who were constantly keeping an eye on me and trying to make me feel better.
He was there in the form of the lovely Surgeon who came and sat next to me on the bed, held my hand and said don’t worry we’ll make you feel better.
He was there in the form of my mother-in-law who came to visit and brushed my hair for me.
He was there in the form of all the friends and family who have called or sent me messages over the last couple of days.
He was there. He is always there. We just need to open the eyes of our heart and see him. He is everywhere and one of my favourite things at the moment is experiencing those special moments, smiling and thinking – that’s him all over!
Some of my friends have recently asked me how I’m so laid back about everything whilst going through this rough health patch. And although I have had a few bad days where I most definitely have not been positive, as a general I’ve been OK about it all and that’s because I stand strong in my faith. I know that my God has got my back! We aren’t promised a life without struggles, we are promised a life with God… and this is definitely what I have and what I will never let go of.
This was the view from my bed this morning. It might just look like three chairs. To me it looked like three chairs that The Father, Son and Holy Spirit sat in last night to watch over me.